Most parents agree that having a child is the best thing that has ever happened to them. And no one doubts that it is so. A baby is a soft, small and innocent creature that will depend on its parents to defend itself, clean itself and feed itself for a long time.
However, parental love may not be enough to face everything that having a child entails, and that does not mean that you do not love him with all your being, but that you are human and there are certain things that tend to overcome you.
In this sense, there are few parents, especially mothers, who accept having these types of feelings, thinking that they may be criticized or that others may believe that they do not love their child, when the reality is that it is totally natural.
a day with your baby
With the arrival of the baby everything changes, your needs are put aside to give him the main space, so it is common that you can neglect yourself a little in other matters that previously interested you, even with your relationship.
In general, your day will start much earlier and may end later, shortening the time you have to sleep. This makes you stay tired, so you should take some precautions such as naps during the day.
In the same way, while the child is awake, it is not advisable to leave him alone, which causes you to carry out your other tasks on permanent alert.
Likewise, if you are a housewife, you should make room in your schedule to take care of the home a bit, fulfilling everything related to cleaning, cooking and laundry, ending up much more tired and without encouragement.
This can happen during the adaptation time, since later you will be able to settle in much more easily, preventing it from being so fatiguing. Despite this, it is during the first months when the fatigue is greatest and where you discover the parenting tasks that you do not want to do.
We do not all like the same thing, so we cannot speak in a general way. However, according to family therapists, all parents have parenting tasks that they hate doing, they just don’t do it out of fear of criticism.
This point makes many mothers continue doing the tasks they least like so as not to give the image of bad mothers, without knowing that this is not what it is about. Tasks such as bath time are often stressful for some mothers, especially when the little ones are already big and tend to move a lot and weigh more.
In this sense, you should keep in mind that it is better to have a short bath and a less stressed mother, since over time this task can become torture.
If this is your case, we can give you some recommendations so that you feel comfortable with the process.
- Take the bath at a time that is convenient for you, it does not matter if it is not the same time every day.
- If your baby is within the first month of life, it is not necessary to bathe him every day, you can do daily cleanings and complete baths every two or three days.
- Place the baby bath in a stable place that is high so as not to disturb your back and improve your posture while soaping them.
- Speed up the process as much as you can. Try to lather and rinse it properly, but without wasting so much time.
- After the bath, do something you like to do with your little one, this will improve your mood and help you get on with the day. In addition, it will work to discipline your brain, indicating that when you finish that action that you don’t like, another one will come that will make you happy.
- Don’t push yourself. Avoid feeling bad for hating that activity, that doesn’t make you a bad mother, it makes you human.
- Talk to your partner, maybe he can help you with certain tasks or you can create a schedule so that he also participates and you can share bath time with him.
division of tasks
Parents often share certain tasks and help each other with the upbringing of the baby. This can create a kind of balance between the things that you don’t like to do.
Sit down with your partner and establish what things you don’t like to do. Undoubtedly, this can help release pressure and open up to each other to improve coexistence.
In this sense, it may happen that he hates changing diapers with poop and you hate bath time, because you can form a balance, while he takes care of the bathrooms and you take care of the dirty diapers, so the work will be much more enjoyable. If it happens that you both hate a particular activity, split up, so you can rest.
a full time job
Being a mother is a full-time job, so whether you like it or not, there are a lot of tasks you have to do. However, the best thing is that you dedicate yourself to seeing the bright side of things, without pressuring or overwhelming yourself too much.
Accept and call things as they are. Do not think that you are a bad mother for one thing or another, since nobody loves and cares for your baby better than yourself, and do not hesitate to seek help from a family member, nanny or cleaning service, because even if you want, you do not always have to take care of yourself. of all things.
find time for yourself
Although it is difficult, you should try to find some time for yourself. This may also give you a little fear or guilt, but it is not convenient that motherhood consumes you completely. You must remember that in addition to being a mother, you are a woman and, if applicable, a wife, so there are other things to pay attention to.
You can start by taking a day for yourself, for distraction. It will be a complicated process to separate from your baby, but you will see that later you will be able to take care of everything in a better mood, improving the lives of everyone around you.